Richard Nicholls
Richard Nicholls
Richard Nicholls
The Richard Nicholls Podcast

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Letting Go Of The Past

Episode 129: Letting Go Of The Past

How many times do you need to hear a joke before it’s no longer funny?
3?
4?
5?
What if you replayed that joke every day for a few years, would you find it anywhere near as funny as you did when you first heard it?
I doubt it.

So why do we find that we can hold onto bad experiences for years and still feel upset about it?
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What Is Love?

Episode 128: What Is Love?

As a wise man once said

“I’m in love, I’m in love and I don't care who knows it"

Granted, it was Will Ferrell in the Christmas film Elf, but the message still stands. But how do I know that I’m actually in love?
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Procrastination

Episode 127: Procrastination

There are many reasons why we procrastinate, often though it’s because of our inner dialogue.
It could be that we look at the end result as being unrealistic or, going back to my previous episode, we label ourselves as as an underachiever or lazy.

If your inner dialogue suggests to you that your end result is for other people, not for someone like you then challenge it.
Everyone has doubts but if there’s one thing you can guarantee it is that…
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Labels

Episode 126: Who Were You Before The World Changed You?

Do you have a label?

Whether that’s about your personality, your behaviour or even your job.
Do other people label you?

Unfortunately the way the brain works it means that labels are important.
We create shortcuts in the brain, called heuristics, to speed things up and labelling is one of the things it does to make our lives easier.
It helps us to pick out a threat in a hurry and so became a very useful instinct.

But, in a modern world what it can do instead is...
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Stop Saying Sorry

Episode 125: Stop Saying "Sorry"

If someone bumps into you do YOU say sorry or do they say sorry?

Common sense says being bumped into is nothing to apologise for, but if your self-esteem is low then your default thinking might be, “If I didn’t exist they wouldn’t have bumped into me, so it’s my fault.”
It sounds like an exaggeration, but I know for a fact that some of you do go through that process.

As a therapist, my job is to sit and listen as much as anything else, to give someone a space for them to be themselves, to say what they like about whatever or whomever they like without any fear of judgement or criticism.
So why, after
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The Lost Letter

The Lost Letter - By Richard Nicholls

It had been 6 weeks since the funeral.
Long enough to get used to the idea that he was an orphan now. Dan had laughed a little when he first used that word, orphan.
How old do we have to be before we no longer describe ourselves as that? He thought to himself. But to him, Dan was an orphan. After all both his parents had died, first his Dad, although that was many years ago and now his Mum.
But, at 57 years old to describe yourself as an orphan seemed odd, hence…
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Emotional Contagion

Episode 124: Emotional Contagion

Have you ever walked into a room to find that everyone’s laughing about something and so you begin to smile and maybe even laugh yourself as you enquire what’s funny?

It happens all the time, but what was it that made YOU smile and laugh? After all you didn’t know what they were laughing at!

But in that moment your mood had genuinely lifted, even if for a second or so.

You were smiling and laughing simply because someone else was smiling and laughing all because of the
phenomenon of what’s called Emotional Contagion.
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Patience

Episode 123: Patience

My previous episode Building On Your Foundations prompted a few messages from listeners saying that the only thing stopping them from being able to do that is impatience.

A lack of patience has probably always been an issue in society but it does seem to be getting worse.
Let’s look at what’s going on.

Image courtesy of Brett Jordan
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Foundations

Episode 122: Building On Your Foundations

Have you seen the Royal Navy advert that’s been shown over the last 12 months on TV?

Watch it here if you haven’t.

So, imagine that the voice over artist jumped from talking about fixing a skateboard to fixing a Type 45 Destroyer.

It’s too big a jump isn’t it? It doesn’t feel achievable.
To be the best you can be we need those steps in-between and we need the foundations to build upon before anything else.
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Dealing With The Critics

Episode 121: Dealing With The Critics

One thing that you can pretty much guarantee in life is that you will come under fire at some point.

You WILL be criticised by someone.
Whether that’s a teacher, a parent, a colleague or a random person on Facebook.

We can’t please everybody.
And sometimes it’s because not everyone wants to be pleased in the first place.
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Assertiveness

Episode 120: Being Assertive. Just Say No!

Have you ever said “Yes” to something, when in your head you’re screaming “Nooooo!”?
Maybe you fit in with the attitude that “If you want to get something done, ask a busy person”
After all, that’s what people say isn’t it?
But, why is that?
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Inactivity

Episode 119: Inactivity

Ever heard of neuroplasticity?
It means the brain’s ability to change and a lot of research has been undertaken to show just how flexible our brain really is, and coming back from a holiday last month made me think.

Usually when I talk about neuroplasticity it is because of the positives that come from it. Learning a new habit, recovering from a stroke that sort of thing.
But…
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Kindness BBC Radio Norfolk Richard Nicholls

Richard On BBC Radio Norfolk

In a society that assumes we're happier when we're selfish it's time to get a better perspective.
Richard was interviewed by BBC Radio Norfolk to explain why it's important to be kind.
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Social Functioning & Evolution

Episode 118: Social Functioning & Evolution

Have you been on holiday this year at all?
Being happy in my work I forget sometimes that my family might like to get away from things for a while and so we decided to go away with a large group of friends for a week to Torquay.
We did a lot of different things and visited lots of places but there is one particular event that still sticks in my mind almost a month later.
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Unleash Your Inner Superhero

Episode 117: Unleash Your Inner Superhero

Have you ever pretended to be someone you’re not?
Maybe it’s not a bad thing. Now I don’t necessarily like the phrase “fake it till you make it” because it conjures up thoughts of imposter syndrome, but one thing that we all need to bear in mind is that we are not born with any behavioural traits, no particular personality, no beliefs about self, nothing.

So how to we develop our personality?
How do we learn what to say and how to say it?
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Goals, Values and Priorities

Episode 116: Goals, Values and Priorities

I saw a rant on Facebook a few weeks ago from another therapist, making a public outburst about the plus-size model Tess Holliday.
Now Tess is very overweight, she’s a size 26, and will obviously have some massive health problems if things don’t change, but being that shape and size is part of her identity and that isn’t going to change in a rush.

His rant was about the fact that…
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